Do you act your promises?

8. August 2009 at 11:09 (EMPOWERING COMMUNICATION, Finishing my book., Mutuality)

Or – How to make good decisions and turn them into action.

This is about decisions, mutuality and commitment. And personal leadership, of course….

I’m talking about the decisions we make in common. The necessary and important decisions – in dreams of great results and success. Commitment is your personal engagement, enthusiasm and contributions for the most brilliant result as possible. You can dictate people to promise their commitment, but you can’t force them actually to do it in practise. I’m talking about the crossfield between your way of being ‘The good leader’ for the project and each member’s Personal Leadership. I call this crossfield ‘Mutuality.’

‘The good leader’ can be either a person – the one who has the formal leadership. Or an idea – based on the common agreements, values, goals and frames for the cowork and results for the specific project. Whether it’s a person or a Vision – the leadership depends on mutuality and commitment to the  common decisions. Get my point?

The traditional organization-models are ‘Top-Down( arrrrgh) or ‘Buttom -UP” (A little better, because there is space for co-influence.) I think it’s time to create and agree  ’The Mutuality-model’. 

What have Mutuality to do with good decisions? Everything.

A good decision is made in mutual agreements and commitment. Whether you’re the boss or the member of the community. Making decisions and resolutions have an implicit element of fear. Fear for ‘No way back’. Fear for the consequenses both for you and the community. Fear of making the wrong choise. Maybe fear of the hard work it demands to make the decisions come true?

The Mutuality-model makes it possible to make good decisions, and eliminate most of the fears.

Why?

Because the good decisionprocess contains an aggrement  of commitment to follow the decision AND evaluate it after a while. A kind of pilotproject or test-period. Everybody paying attention to the pros & cons, when it comes to act the decision. Each and everyone is important and valuable in this process, because the mission is to get so many angles, thoughts and experiences on the effort as possible. That’s mutuality. The boss isn’t more important, than the employer in this process. Actually she’s less important. The real challenge for the leader is to allow people to experience and be critical. (And tell the usual one, who claims ‘I wasn’t there- I didn’t agree’, to shut up and be loyal to the decision, as well as the others.) Whether the leadership depends on a person or a set of common agreements, mutuality is the way.

HOW to create a dynamic decision-procedure based on mutuality and commitment.

Say after me, please:

‘I hereby commit myself to act the decision with all my attention, knowledge, experience, creativity and enthusiasm. I promise I will focus on the process, efforts and brilliant results. I also promise to act professional and let go of personal interests, effort, feelings and fears for changes or disagreements. I will do my very best to contribute and share my opinions, thoughts and experiences with my coworkers – as well as they do, to make sure we get as many angles, pros and cons as possible in the test-period. I will – of course, listen to the others with attention and respect for their points of views. To me, loyalty means loyalty to the best practice for the future, and never ever loyalty to a person, organization or the oldschool way of doing things. I will even promise to be a pioneer or a rebel, if that’s what it takes to get to the best results. Al the best for the best.’

Okay – it maybe sounds easy, and actually it is. There are some important steps and mutual agreements you have to make to get to the mutuality- statement.

Here they are – based on my own experiences:

  • I know you have a clear vision and/or common goals. So I don’t have to mention, that your decisions must match your visions and goals?
  • Everybody have to be involved in the creative process, leading to the decision, you’re about to test in action.
  • Make sure, that visions, goals, timeframe, action and evaluation points are clear, visual and written down to everybody.
  • Point out one or two keypersons with the professional and personal competences and skills to create and guarantee the ongoing conversation about pros and cons in the test-period.
  • Please remember, that objections can be valuable questions in disguise about an angle, you didn’t pay attention to. And then – you have to tell between the valuable contributions to the process in the spirit of mutuality and the usual grumblers, walking backwards into the future – fighting to preserve the past.
  • And then – If it shows up, that your decision is really bad, wrong or unrealistic, when you start acting it. If it breaks your vision and goals down instead of build them up – then quit it. Gather together as quick as possible, and make a common decision to make a new and better decision.

Go for it and have fun – says The Wise Woman. ;-)

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Personal achievement and perfomance.

19. July 2009 at 10:52 (Finishing my book.)
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Why this? Because it’s the actionpart of Personal Leadership. It’s your expression to your surroundings.

I’ll give you my views on and advices about how to be and act in situations, with huge demands to you: lectures, speeches, examins, jobinterviews. All the same, because the results depends on your cool achievement and performance, being YOU. 

Being YOU is the keyword in personal leadership and in personal achievement & performance.

‘You have to have something on your mind & heart, to deserve other’s attention.’

What this is not about, is  the different technical medias, you can use to support your performance. You have to know, what’s in your heart and mind, and how you wish to express it, before you’re able too choose the right medias – the medias that’s the most natural support to your performance and messages.

When I started my company, I made a decision, never to use any technical medias  such as slides, overheadprojector, e.t.c. My tools are ME and a flip-over. And the people I’m with. I usually present it as a value, based in my filosophy about only to carry with me, what makes sense to me, and let go of all the other stuff. I advice you to do the same. I don’t want to overdope my participants with my perspectives. I rather prefer some good conversations about different views on the issue. It’s an active choise I take, over and over again, though. I’m sure you know Howard Gardeners theory about ‘The many intelligenses‘. It’s about the many different ways each one of us percept, learn and experience. It’s important knowledge, when you have to explain your point of views to your sourroundings. Still this is hidden in the unconsiuosness  for so many people, but not for you, from now on. Read about it and play  with ít, getting to know your own forces and growing-potentials. Nothing wrong – nothing right – just a possibility to know yourself better.

Back to the track. Achievement allways contains a degree of pressure. Escpecially when your future depends on it. In front of strangers, who estimate your skills, knowledge, experience and personality. I tell you – you are allways the boss, when it’s your life and situation, that’s put on stake.

 There’s a big misunderstanding in cirkulation: that examins is the hardest and worst, that happens to you. Nope, dear. Life is filled with situations, where you have to perform and achieve the most excellent you are and can be.

Now we’re back to the issue of Personal leadership. The next is a kind of checklist you can use to prepare your self. I ask the questions – you got the right answers.

What are you aiming for? What are your goals, demands and expectations in the situation, whether it’s jobinterview, examins or whatever? Are your goals, demands, expectations realistic in the situation?

What is the most important messages, signals, impressions, you want to give your ‘judges’? What do you want them to remember about you, when you are leaving the room? 

 Wich are you’re favorite clothes – wear them! Which position do you prefer? Standing, walking around? Sitting on a table? Do it – and tell them, you feel most comfortable doing it.

Find out which way is the best for you to prepare, and do it.  How can you avoid, that’s all turns dark for you? Use the tools and remedies, that works the best best for you, when you perform. (I’m allways bringing a mini – flipover with ‘thought-clouds’. It’s my personal way to prepare, and it supports me being in the flow, I want. Never met anybody, who said, I couldn’t. Detailed notes, don’t work for me – they ties me up, so I forget what I really want to say and do.)

If they ask you about something, you don’t know or remember – tell them. It gives the impression of strenght. Answering something you don’t know, pulls the carpert under your feet away, and you get more vulnerable. That would really be a pity for your great achievement- right?

And then remember: They are all human beings, whether it is your future boss or an external examiner.

The best you can do is doing your best. Keep the Spirit, and go for it. Show them your Personal Fantasticness.

 - says The Wise Woman. ;-)

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We’re all Creators and Innovators!

15. July 2009 at 15:24 (CReaTiViTy & InnoVaTIoN, Finishing my book., Guide the Young Ones!, PASSION, Social Entrepreneurship., Wise Woman advices)
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You just have to realize it. It’s a substancial gift, talent and drive in human nature. I think you allready know. So trust it and be it.;-)

In may I was invited to a networkevent about Creativity and Innovation. Bertel Haarder gave the opening speech. I almost got sick of listening to empty words about how important it is, that Creativity and Innovation is implemented in Folkeskolen, from the early years.  Empty words, because I have been working – fighting all my 26 years in that system, to break down the glasscieling, that stops our kids and young ones from growing to be the creative creatures, they were born as. It needs power and drastic changes in one movement – just like turning a supertanker.

During the time,  creativity and innovation have been lifted to a level, as if you have to be an artist or expert to create new ways and stuff. The concequense is, that we don’t trust our own ideas and doings, as creative or innovative. 

Creativity is finding the best solution in the situation. It doesn’t have to be genius or never-seen- before solutions. Still, most of the times they are, we just don’t trust it. So we keep our fantastic ideas and solutions to ourselves instead of sharing  – shouting them out, to as many as possible and make a party to celebrate our creations.

When it comes to innovation – a heavy buzzword in businesslife, organizations spend millions and millions every year on Innovation GURUs, coming in – make huge changes (sometimes out of the blind) and disappearing again, leaving everybody a little bit more confused, than before.  Okay – I really respect the cleverones. the wierdheaded people with the crazy angles, working with both heart and brain. (Actually I had some thouhts about offering me as an InnovationGuide to companies – helping them to find the right process and person for them. Maybe some day, I will. I think it’s needed out there)

What I want to say is, that Innovation has grown synonomous with BIIIIG changes, without analyzing the reel need before starting a project. In my opinion authentic, valuable and profitable innovation, is a slow steady process, with the highest involvement of all.  Innovation is more a basic culture, than an action. An innovative and creative culture with focus on each communitymembers thoughts about, developing  and sublimating the daily work.

It’s my experience, that there is so much innovative and creative power hidden in the corners of every organization and community. Never diccovered – never told – never shared. Waisted Gold.

SO – in my perspective, it’s not a question about whether we are Creators and Innovaters. We sure are.

No - the big challenge is, how we create and develope a culture where it’s almost a duty – a very important and appreciated duty, to have inspirering and empowering conversations and exchanges, about the great ideas and the developing of best practice, when the work is done. Sometimes your most natural way of doing or thinking is a brand new way for another. It’s a damn pity to keep it to yourself, though. Right?

Enjoy and have fun – says The Wise Woman’

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Human acting and behaviour fascinates me. What I’m really passionated about, is how we communicate about it.

22. May 2009 at 13:41 (CommUNITY, CommUNITYcation., EMPOWERING COMMUNICATION, Mutuality, PASSION, Visions for the Future., Wise Woman advices)
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Communication is Rule numer One – a Silent Revolution.

The Silent Revolution issue is strongly inspirered by the Social Mediaexpert Henriette Weber. As I see it, her angle on the Silent Revolution is her passion for social medias and cybercommunities, naturally. (And so much more, too.) It’s in deep respect, when I twist her way of explaining it,  to my own definition. After all – I think we’re out in simular missions.

I say -claim - that it’s communication, that rules the world. The basic meeting betwen people. In this meeting there’s going so much more on,  than the spoken words, we usually take for granted.  Agree?

There’s a theory, I often use in my speeches, to widen out the elements in the fine art of Empowering Communication.  This theory claims, that the spoken words only is 7 % of the total communication between people. (I better tell you -  some people disagree with Albert Mehrabians theory about Silent Messages. ) I find it very useful, when the context is understanding the  - often unconsious, complex of mechanisms going on, when people meet people. Shortly: the rest of the communication, is the way we’re using our voice (38%) and – very interesting, all the unsaid (55 %). In my universe it includes the intuition, perceptions and prejudices, that either kills the mutual understanding or empowers it. Hope you can follow?

Humans are flockscreatures, depending on eachother. Flocks are communities. Communities are people – individuals. Each person in the community, carries their very own beliefs, experiences, etc, etc, into the community. Hereby they influence, what happens in and with the community.  In other words: every single person on this planet is walking around telling and acting their own truth – version of reality. No wonder, that it comes to misunderstandings and fights, eh? Because each of us is unconsiously convinced, that exatly ‘my’ truth is THE truth. Can you picture this? Does it make sense to you? (Phew – hard to explain my lifeblood in common understandable words.;-))

The missing link – or rule numer One is: to communicate about all this – being courious and tolerant – embracing all the exiting perspectives, there are on everything. That is basic Empowerment. The Silent Revolution is this:  insist in focusing at strengths, potentials and solutions and communicate it to as many as possible. Then watch, how you make the World a better place to be for all of us. Actually – I think this is the main reason, why I’m here on Earth. To spread out this message. And tell how simple it is, when it comes to the matter.

This is a small part of, why Human acting & behaviour fascinates me. And why I’m deeply passionated about how we communicate in and about it. With ourselves and in our different communities.

The Inner Conversation between your thoughts and emotions- maybe the most important of them all – needs at least one blogpost of its own.

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Surroundings.

7. May 2009 at 19:52 (The Wise Woman and me., Visions for the Future., Visuals.)
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       Parts from my nearest sourrundings. On my balcony I say hello to the sun, when it rises, and goodnight, when it’s sunsettime.  I watch the moon in all her phases - wakes up in the middle of  the night, bathed in moonlight.  From my balcony I shout out my joy and succes to the Universe. My balcony is also a perfect place to cry and scream out frustrations and anger, when everything is too much. (It happens I howl to the moon.) On my balcony and in the  garden I find peace, when thoughts and visions are spinning to fast. Peace and inspiration to sharpen a project from idea to action. Peace, joy and harmony. The Wise Woman and I.                                                             

Udsigt.

View from my balcony.

 

Balconyscene with herbs.

Balconyscene with herbs and flowers

 

Nature versus construction

Nature versus construction

Pink stillettoes among flowers

Pink stillettoes in the sun. Mostly they're out at night.

A flamingo on a balcony?

A flamingo on a balcony?

 

The birchtree

The birchtree

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The Wise Woman’s speach about female Entrepreneurship. Part two.

5. May 2009 at 18:43 (Female Entrepreneurship., The Wise Woman and me., Visions for the Future., Wise Woman advices)
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I was asked, if I have any good advices for female Entrepreneurs. I’m The Wise Woman – you know – so of course I have.

My most important advice, is a quote from ‘The big Moo’: ‘STOP trying to be perfect – and start being remarkable’!!!!!! Why That? Because it is my experience, that women seek the perfection in anything we do –right? Wanting to be perfect, blocks us from taking ACTION – and hereby succeed with our business. Or at least, it takes much longer time to realize or Bizznessdream.

Women and growth: In the Entrepreneurial week, I heard a lecture about female Start Ups and their visions for growth and development in their businesses. The female lecturer had some reflexions about female entrepreneurs. She called it ‘The parallel business segment.’ Because women want growth – but not in the traditional way.

Here is what I think: I think, that a lot of women are first-movers, thinking work/life-balance as a value in their business – right from the start. Firstmovers, because doing things your own way – in other words: be true yourself and follow your heart, is the businessway for the future. For all of us. Erhvervs- og byggestyrelsen’  have made an investigation and a report about it too.

The bonus advice: In All the networks, I join, there are at least 3 times more men, than women……! Except one – a female business-network Morgendagens Heltinder. (There are other simular, naturally.) Instead of harcelling over all the black jackets, I have decided to enjoy it. I keep my spirit and believes, in what I think is the right way to be a successful businesswoman. And the – of course – exchange knowledge and experience with my male colleagues. Do the same and have fun AND success.

These were the words from an old rolemodel – the Wise Woman.

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The Wise Woman’s speach about female Entrepreneurship. Part one.

5. May 2009 at 18:24 (Female Entrepreneurship., Social Entrepreneurship., Visions for the Future.)
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Now you may ask: ‘Who is this Wise Woman, though?’

Well – I’m 53 years old. 2 and a half years ago, I started my own company – SamtaleAkademiet, after 26 years in the public sector – working with leadership, management, pædagogik and communication. A Huuuuuge step…..! You may say, that I gave myself SamtaleAkademiet as a fifty-years birthday present. 

So I am an entrepreneur, too. With all the ups and downs there is in it. Indeed, I’ve got come to my hair – but I love it. That’s the short version.

Right now I’m reading a marvelous book – maybe you know it:

‘The big Moo’. It’s written by thirtythree of the most fabulous business – and marketingbrains in USA and edited by Seth Godin. READ IT!

My ‘Big Moo’ in SamtaleAkademiet is about 3 essential issues now and for the future:  Network, Creativity and Personal Leadership.

Network – because I am convinced, that network is THE way, we will organize us in the future – take a look around, and you will see, it’s already begun. So we need to know ‘The Fine Art of Networking’. AND find our own personal way to act in different networkcommunities.

Creativity – do I have to tell you why????  Okay – Creativity is the only way to create the best ‘Never-seen- before’ solutions. Therefore it is important to master BOTH creative tools and the language, that supports creative thinking and emotions.

Personal Leadership – this is the more philosophic part:

I think, that we are meant to be the best, we can be – whatever we do! Personal Leadership is an Inner Journey, that leads us to express ourselves, exactly, as the best we want to be. We are surrounded by so many – well-meaning- people, who all claims to know, how we should act in and manage our business. I have been confused so many times, by all the advices, I didn’t ask for. Now I have decided to smile and nod politely – and throw away all, that don’t make sense for me…. Mastering Personal Leadership is THE excellent way to succeed in Entrepreneurship. – and living…

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The Wise Woman and me.

5. May 2009 at 17:25 (The Wise Woman and me., Visions for the Future.)
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She has always been a part of me as long, as I remember. I just didn’t recognize her, until a few months ago. She appeared to me,  when I was invited be the hostess at an event about Female Entrepreneurship.  

At first – when I was asked, I thought: ‘Oh yeah – hmmm? In my imagination it was ME, who should be the lecturer….!!!! Obviously he thinks I’m TOO old to be a rolemodel for female Entrepreneur-students. Hmmm.’ 

My second thought was: ’ Wauw – YES – I’d love it! Sure – I’m not old – I am The Wise Woman, with the big honour to create the right set-up for 3 fantastic young women, with each their angle and experience with Entrepreneurship.’

This was my first concious meeting with her. At first, she was like a joke. Now I know, that it’s faaaar from the truth. She is a voice in my head, actually it has always been there. But mostly she is a feeling -  a belief. A Silent Knowledge that belongs, where the words are ending. Can you follow? She looks behind things and situations – seeing all clearly. (You should know, how many spanks, I recieved through the years. I wasn’t aware, that the others didn’t know, what I took for granted. It’s not claivoyance – It’s ….????)

The Wise Woman’s heart beats for the children and the youngsters. Sometimes she even appears as a worrier, when it comes to rights and caring for ‘The Future’s Gold’. It happens, though, that a drop of her wisdom touches the so called grown-ups, as a wake-up call. The truth is, that she forgets all around her, when she meets the children and the young ones – having some Empowering Conversations. That’s how it is.

For ME, living with The Wise Woman, it’s a relief to give her a name and a voice. To let her into my life with appreciation. I hardly know her full power yet, but I know for sure, that she will bring me lots of strength, joy and challenges – troubles maybe? (Even more than before, I got to know her…..) What I know is, that The Wise Woman and me, is one  united creature, that’s gonna change the World – creating Worldwide CommUNITY. I am SO exited to see HOW……..

All this brings up the gooooood question: ’Who created who?’ Did I create The Wise Woman? Or - did  she actually create ME?

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A Vision for the Future 1.

5. May 2009 at 15:46 (Visions for the Future.)
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The Wise Womans vision for the Future:

We’re back to the Tribe-culture.

And CommUNITYcation is the gathering issue- worldwide – including the Universe.

I know, you know, that it is a powerfull, magic combination of Community, Unity and Empowering Communication.

It came to me a saturday morning in the train back to the countryside from CHP.  After a long, exiting day/night, with inspiring people and conversations over a ‘few’ drinks…..

I went to bed – a strange bed, in a strange house – after a spirituel conversation with a coworker. Couldn’t fall asleep.

I had a looooong moment of total clarity.

The answer of all my questions and seeking – the real and deepest essence of, why I am here, and what I’m meant to do and be.

Can you follow me – or is too wierd?

The codeword for the highest meaning with me is: Creating ‘Community’ – the Tool is Empowering Communication. Connector, guide, mediator, helper, catalyst, is some of the words, you can put on me. And then I could sleep – 2½ hour. Up and home.

Suddenly in the train this word –  ’Empowering CommUNITYcation’ flashed in neon in my head.

This issue gathers all my ideas, projects and beliefs – sums it up. Which means, that now I know exactly what to do and be.

(Which also means, that I have to say ‘goodbye’, to projects and ideas, that don’t fit in. Tell me, if you need a good one, and I will share it with you)

ActuallyI think both will be a HUUUUGE relief right from this moment.

A few days later, I discovered, that there is a german company, who actually trademarked ‘CommUNITYcation’. As I read it, (not so trained in the german language) they have the same vision, as me. After some thinking, I came to the conclusion, that CommUNITYcation must be a movement – something meant to be. Bigger and larger, than I can imagine right now. ‘The Wise Woman Says….’

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Listen to the young ones.

5. May 2009 at 14:58 (Social Entrepreneurship.)

Yesterday I was invited to an event at Øresund Entrepreneurship Academy as a member of their network Minerva Bridge. The issue was Social Entrepreneurship, and and three young enthusuiastic folks told us about their companies with light in the eye and fire in the stommack. Wauw. I was touch by the way they combine profit with a big social engagement in their different projects.

That’s why I shout: ‘Listen to the young ones.’

They are already creating a future without barriers between human values, relations, mutuality, respect and earning money. Acting with both brain and heart for a better world. I’m impressed.

I came to think of a proword I had on my officewall to remind me of, that changes is diffucult and nessecary: ”Those, who think it’s impossible, is not allowed to block those, who has already done it for a while.’ 

See the point? While the traditionel businessfolks still talk about pros & cons about CSR – the young ones are doing it with succes. Focusing on global evolution.

SO – The Wise Woman says: ‘ Get up of your chairs, Old folks, shake your heads and let go of unuseful conventions and worries, and do as the young ones.’

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